Freight Train

It's happening. She can feel it as it does. There is nothing she can do but sit and wait for it. 

Emotions are flooding in adding confusion to each moment. Clarity is slipping away and feelings of frustration are creeping in. She can stop this right, rationalize her way out of emotional confusion and fatigue! Not a chance in hell can she escape this. It's coming and as it gets closer it's picking up speed.

Like a freight Train stopping anywhere it can to add weight; baggage and momentum grow and grow. Full of heavy emotional cargo it comes for her. She sits frozen on the tracks struggling to cope. She'll think her way off the tracks, move and adjust herself with her mind. She remains frozen. Not one muscle moves. 

She can hear it now. Feel the vibrations on the ground as it nears her. The wind is picking up; the gusts sweep her hair across her face. She bows her head so the hair doesn't get caught up in the tears streaming down her face. They are flowing freely now.

She is suddenly aware of the scent of wildflowers is on the breeze but it is tainted by the smell of grease. Grease? 

She looks up just in time to catch the eyes of the conductor. They are so familiar. They look like home; but it's no use to attempt to run. The train is too near and she is still frozen; locked in battle with her mind. She can't look away from those eyes until it's too late...

She blinks, she's in one piece. But how? Slowly opening her eyes; it feels like they've been closed for days and the world is so bright. The sun is shining on her face and the wildflowers are in full bloom. Where is she? 

Surrounded by metal and the sound of screeching metal she is disoriented. Confused but the sun still warms her face with a comfort she has always known. 

She catches movement out of the corner of her eye. She looks up abruptly trying to see what it was. It's a window,  and the scenery is rapidly passing by. Confusing is escalating. 

Glancing around once again, this time more slowly. Taking in her surroundings in detail. The sounds of metal and gears, the scent of grease, the heat of machinery, the mental fatigue that remains from the battle she just fought with herself. Blinking hard and clenching her hands around cold metal. 

A deep breathe brings back those eyes... with a wave of anxiety the memories rush in. Those eyes are so familiar because they are her own. She drives the train. She collected freight at every stop then sat on the tracks waiting for the collision. 

Swallowing the lump in her throat she begins to settle. Clarity rushes in like ocean waves. Love is returning to her heart in warm rays. She is growing calm once again. Reset and ready to open her heart with renewed commitment to herself. She is new, vulnerable, strong and full of love.