Why? Well it's only partly because I wouldn't want to. I mean, I can be just as susceptible as the next person to the need for approval from others. But here's the big thing - I could NEVER do that to my daughter.
I'm always telling her that she's perfect exactly the way she is. And really, she's pretty darned amazing. A little fireball who says exactly what she's thinking, has an awesome sense of humor and loves like she'll never be hurt.
So what would it do to her if I showed her I felt not good enough the way I am? Well I know what I'd think. Basically that all those supportive and uplifting words were lies, a bit of make believe.
Perhaps the effects on her wouldn't be so obvious now, but as she grows and begins to experience the twisted beliefs and insecurities of others, she will likely come to rest on the idea that she also isn't good enough. And how could she believe anything else? Everywhere she turns, she'll see people wearing a mask; putting up a front in order to feel love and acceptance.
And can you imagine the sinking feeling she'll get when she realises her mama is just like the rest of them? The one person who is supposed to be a lighthouse guiding the way turns out to be just another insecure hypocrite offering empty words of praise tainted by self-doubt and fear.
So, though it may be fun to have a bit more up top, I just couldn't do it. And you know what? That's ok. I secretly, or not so secretly, love my small boobs. Because they're mine.
C
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