I don't believe in waiting

By C

I don't believe in waiting.  Waiting for tomorrow.  Waiting for security, love, people, confidence, happiness.  Waiting for an unknown future that promises nothing.

I have often waited out of fear.  I had no idea how to begin and was scared that if I started there was no turning back.  I craved safety and security.  I recoiled at the idea of trusting my heart over my head.

Now, I'm not speaking of patience here. Patience is the allowing that comes after intention and action have occurred.  Patience offers solace in the understanding that everything is ok; that possibility creates in a gentle way.

But waiting...waiting is a copout.  It's a 'maybe later' that easily slips into regret.  Waiting is a choice to listen to the fears and limitations we believe of ourselves.

What would happen if we stopped believing our fears and limitations?  What's the worst that we may experience if we took a step?  Maybe we'd have to face up to the fact that we were wrong.  Or worse, maybe we'd have to change.

Change can hurt.  And it often leaves us so uncomfortable that we struggle with finding a new normal.  But nothing is as uncomfortable as staying trapped in our illusions.  Keeping ourselves small serves no one.

What if simply chose to take one step?  A small one, a big one, any step. What if we listened to the small urges guiding us and took a break from listening to the arguments of our brain?  The brain is so good at organizing, criticizing and judging;  always living in the past or some imagined future.  The brain is the part of us that sucks at trusting and being.  How can we possibly grow and evolve if we are living in this space?  It only knows of yesterday and believes this is all we are capable of.

Our steps don't need to be huge.  They just need to be.  They can't wait for a readiness that will never come.  How could it?  We really only feel comfortable with something AFTER we've experienced it.

Don't know what to do?  Then it doesn't matter which direction the first step is in.  And what an incredible opportunity for exploration!  

What if our dreams are so big that we can't clearly see the best direction to take?  Ahhh, this is a good one.  Well, maybe we just need to start.  Small steps, honest conversations, listening, trust.

That's it.  Trust.  Breathe.  Trust some more.  Stop waiting.